Men the world over will have heard of a condition called PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome). It’s the condition which turns your wife, girlfriend or daughter into an irrational, moody, blubbering walrus for about a week every month and therefore you will have no doubt suffered from it by-proxy for many years. However, you may be unaware of a condition called MPS; it affects motocross riders about once a week, usually on a Sunday, and like PMS, causes irrational mood swings and tantrums. MPS, or Motocrossers’ Paddy Syndrome can often be seen around the paddock and start area of Motocrosses around the country and despite its severity, goes relatively un-recorded. It is believed that MPS originated in the schoolboy motocross scene and has, over the years, spread to the adult scene, however, this theory is relatively unfounded and is yet to be substantiated.

MPS can apparently be quite distressing for the sufferer, and any slight disruption, such as stalling their engine, getting a bad starting position or being given instruction by an official can cause them to have an “MPS attack” (commonly known as a “paddy”). To an outsider (officials and fellow riders), these “paddies” can seem mildly entertaining and onlookers have often reported disbelief at the sufferer’s astonishingly child-like behaviour. MPS sufferers are believed to feel rather stupid and embarrassed after their “paddy” and often loose the respect of officials and their fellow riders.

A “paddy” can be recognised by the following symptoms:

Rider becomes agitated and flustered
Rider’s face reddens and arms begin to flail aimlessly
Rider’s voice raises in pitch and volume
Rider’s temper is taken out on inanimate objects (such as his motorcycle, the start gate or a wooden stake)

Until development of the much anticipated “Chill Pill” is complete, there is no apparent cure for MPS. However, the symptoms of a “paddy” can be alleviated using a few simple techniques. NOTE: Under no circumstances should MPS sufferers be treated with the same sympathy and patience as would help alleviate the symptoms of PMS (although it is recommended to give both PMS and MPS sufferers a wide berth for a while). Instead, an MPS sufferer should be told to grow up and GET OVER IT! In situations such as those mentioned above it is advisable to firmly assure the sufferer that kicking their motorcycle to the ground will not make it miraculously restart, getting peg no. 40 on the start line doesn’t mean they’ll finish 40th in the race and if they are given an instruction by an official, it is usually either to keep themselves or other people safe, not because officials wake up on Sunday mornings with the intention of ruining someone’s enjoyment that day.

Anyone who fears they may be at risk of contracting MPS or is on the verge of an MPS attack is advised to count to ten before opening their mouth and should try and remember why they’re there (the answer to this should lie somewhere between wanting to enjoy their day and wanting to go home in one piece). It has also been suggested that remembering one’s age can often help put the situation into perspective and therefore prevent a “paddy” before it occurs. Following these simple steps can ensure the rider avoids unnecessary embarrassment and helps him retain the respect that he otherwise deserves.